Is this it?

Uni life,

supposedly a fresh new page,

yet.

Some things don't change.

Traces of you are like the pencil marks from the previous page, that gets imprinted onto the next if one wrote too hard on a writing pad.

It won't go away.

Irritated at first,

she'd slowly grow to not care about it's presence,

giving it minimal attention,

but it's still

there.

--

I'm loving this place,

the new environment,

weather

(fine, hate rainy days, but there's an atmospheric touch to them, chemistry achieved by the hazy rain and old buildings).

If only I could have someone to be with me all the time...

sigh,

lazy dreams.

B.

I got my head cleared.

I think.

I would have to call you up on my mind in order to see you,

I don't think of you when I don't want to anymore.

Have I gotten over this whole thing already?

--

Another thought:

sometimes the feeling of emptiness is so strong

that it's rock solid in the mind.

Ever experienced that before?

Ironic isn't it.

B.

1 final day.

"I'm leaving on a jet plane,

Don't know when I'll be back again..."

in about 24 hours,

I'm going to leave the place I called home for the past 18 years.

Besides just distant childhood memories,

there are lots I'm leaving behind too;

family, friends, items worth remembering...

yet much of all I could think about in the past few months

were thoughts of you.

I wish something miraculous would happen,

but the lights of hope are dimming,

dying out more rapidly than ever.

So is this it?

B.

2 days.

"Is it okay if I call you mine,

Just for a time,

And I will be just fine.

If I know that you know that I'm

Wanting, needing your love..."

I chickened out.

I was gonna tell you,

I swear.

But I can't bear the thought of being unable to return to what we have here.

Yet,

what if...

This is even worse than the chicken or egg question.

B.

3 days.

"Who is that girl with the crying face looking at millions of signs?

She knows that life is a running race,

Her face shouldn't show any signs..."

I can't believe

I actually got teary-eyed when I passed by your stop.

I miss your terribly.

:(

B

5 days.

"In an instant,

You are gone and I am scared..."

It's hitting closer,

the whole thing about starting a new page in life.

I've had to say goodbye to half of my family tonight,

and it was most awkward,

for the concept of having to leave behind anything at all is just so new,

so foreign that it might eventually be categorised as a fear.

As for you, I don't know.

I've never really had you,

but yet this non existant baggage,

having to admit it's non-existence,

is similar to asking a child to forget and tuck away his imaginary friend.

It's all about getting used to;

so while I'm used to the idea of having you around,

I will, eventually get around to, not having you around.

Eventually.

You realise that hope is as minimal as the last grains of sand

slipping through the neck of the hourglass,

that's because the thing that's scarce at hand right now,

is precisely

Time.

B.

6 days.

"Living our lives seperately.
And it's strange that things change.
But not me wanting you.
So desperately."

Time runs on and out without our notice.

Unlike cars on the road, there are no speed limit signs on the way

and so the passengers of time

could only get a grip of the rate at which everything slips by

if they remember to set things aside and observe.

Yet,

while I'm fully aware of how days fly by,

the person I would like to have taken notice

doesn't.

Soon enough I'll be gone and you said you promised,

but we won't get the chance to meet.

Not before I leave anyway.

Sorry about the not so elegant writing.

I'm so irritated.

SO.

Irritated.

B.