When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires will come to you If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme When you wish upon a star as dreamers do Fate is kind, she brings to those who love The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing Like a bolt out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you through When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true



This song is timeless, but I really do wish that its lyrics is what happens in real life. As much as I know it isn't, I am still, somehow, able to take comfort when I listen to this song. Looking back, I think its because it used to be the song featured on my baby toy - a room illuminator/lightbox with Disney characters floating about. I miss those days so much.

I've just realised I've almost forgotten about that toy. Perhaps its the same with many of my other 'favourites' back in those days, I only have two or three pieces that would always be present in my mental list.

I wish I could be that easily fulfilled again, who needs $2000 dollar-ed handbags and signature perfumes?

I wish I didn't have to work 6-days straight a week to complete my homework, this academic stress is really getting on to me.
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If you ever get to see this (which I hope you don't), I know its you. I've seen it yesterday but decided to pretend I haven't because I don't want to respond to it, taking either action could signify something so I'd rather leave it behind for the while. What I truly want, is to somehow get us talking again. That's it, really.
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I blush when I see you :)
So do a lot of girls, I believe. Are you used to getting all this attention?
I think I really should find some sort of replacement for you over the summer, so I don't end up suffering. I don't want to break down on the last week of school (why is it like this all the time?)

-Bee <3

I can't believe how much of a coward you've become,
moreover, I can't believe I still do care about how you treat me.

What the hell?

So is it true that nothing could return to the way it is when you've ended a relationship with someone? Not even friends who'd briefly talk and say hi to each other? Is it that awkward? Is it improper to expect the guy to make the first move (I've initiated too much already), and so I'll be considered sexist?

Or maybe its none of the above but really, you are ultimately just being immature about our past?

Awkwardness between two people could drive me insane, I tend to be the person who'll attempt to smoothen things out whenever I could. But looks like this time its different.

Oh now its more than apparent that my ex is really, really not my type.
I...really am a person able of communication, there are almost no occasions in which I'd prefer to hide from someone in order to escape from having to confront with a tacky situation.

you suck.

- Bee

"Missing You"
By Tyler Hilton

I feel like I'm being haunted by this song, and yet, I couldn't help it but listen to this song non-stop. I've started crying all of a sudden, started missing the old times out of the blue, and am not sure what has turned out of me.

What is this sudden load of loneliness strapped onto my back, is this for what I've done to him? Am I finally feeling sorry or something, in other words, punishment, just because I stopped loving him?
I promise, what keeps my mind hooked on now is what it feels like to be in a relationship, what it feels like to have someone connected to you, heart and soul...
the long lost feeling of being loved and loving someone, watching your heart float away.

That all happened once in a blue moon.
I'm almost unable to contain myself...

-Bee <3

I hate school.
I'm so stressed at the moment, its not even funny.
How many days are there remaining until our exams take over? I know its up in less than a month's time...

And I'm failing math ever so badly, as usual.

Oh god I don't know what I'm going to do, I can't even write properly now, because I've been doing so much shit last week, my brain's wound up in the stress from the past two weeks.

I'm going to lock myself up on all the holidays in the upcoming weeks, just to study before the exam.

I guess I would still be able to withstand the arrival of academic stress, if only other aspects of my life were better. I'm not able to manipulate between dealing with my own emotional problems with my academic ones, I'm human for god's sake! But then, I do know I'm already relatively better off compared to those who are having much more going against their way.

Good luck everyone, let's all remain strong and pass our exams with flying colours!

:]

Yes, remaining optimistic helps, even if its a forced smile, because it'll eventually become a real one if you hold it for long enough.

- Bee <3

Pressure? Bring it on!

Academic stresses are normal for all typical students I suppose,
what makes me think that I'm facing more stress than others, its not like I ever complete things on schedule, only sprinting when I reach 10 metres from the finishing line.

Watch me study again, several hours left before I get an Econ test on 4 chapters,
I'm wondering what I would be like when the exams reach over.

Moma's right, I do have issues with time management.
Why though?

But then again, I did have a damn lot to do, especially in the previous week. I admit to the slacking during the weekends, still, its pretty impossible. AND SO, I've had one week of hell, prepared to face another...hence the lack of recent updates on my blog.

1) I don't get how nerds manage to be nerds.
2) furthermore, I don't get how some people just don't care about their academics. I slack, I feel guilty, but at least I'd TAKE ACTION afterwards?

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I can't forget the last time I heard you sing 'You'd Be So Easy to Love' on stage, I think I never will. Although this is not to say I'd have the same feelings for you unconditionally, but I can't help but feel my heart swell when I listen to Frank Sinatra's version. Let me tell you, You'd be so easy to love.

"Oh can't you see your future with me,
'Cause you'd be so easy to love..."

- <3 Bee

Stay young forever :)

Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time,

and be this young again.
These are the times when its alright to want to be wrapped within your parents wraths all the time,
protected, never exposed to the pain of having to grow,
the pain of facing pressure from the society.

I miss the first nine years of my life,
the time when it was just me and only me,
no one else would take away the attention I got.

Is it wrong to feel this way?

- <3 Bee

Live on without you

Annette and I were photobooth-ed in Palais de Tokyo, Paris.

It gets me thinking - how far could someone go when they lose a lover? How about a good friend or a family member, which loss is greater? In most cases, people are able to withstand the depart of a significant other (breaking up) but would do everything they would do maintain a good family relation/ friendship. Perhaps that's already given in the answer to such wonders?

What would I do one day, if I lose all my family and my closest of friends?
Who are my closest friends?

- <3 Bee